AGE OF CONSENT

by Brimstone Blondes

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about

Brimstone Blondes proudly present AGE OF CONSENT. Engineered at Steak & Cake studios by Brandon Schlia. Recorded in the basement of Gates Circle Liquor on Delaware. Produced by Brandon Schlia and Brimstone Blondes. Distributed by Admirable Traits Records. Cover photo by Kenyon Parks. Cover font designed by Mickey Harmon.

The songs on this album were inspired by:

Listening to R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" drunk and alone on a frigid Saturday night, the horrors of rural Pennsylvania, Dirty Mind by Prince, the Coalition for a Smoke-Free City, the Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero, Xavier: Renegade Angel, and Bangerz by Miley Cyrus.

Special thanks to Allie and Margaret for the atmosphere. And shouts out to BasedGod.

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

THE REVIEWZ ARE IN

"The triumph here for the band is that they’ve crafted an album that is weird and cheeky while remaining emotionally honest. Musically, it sounds like The Strokes and The Velvet Underground joined forces to start playing dance parties." - Dan Bauer, buffaBLOG

"Genre grafting, exquisite absurdity, and sheer catchiness are among the characterizations that come to mind when thinking about Brimstone Blondes."
- Jeanette Chin, Artvoice

"This album will remind of you of getting drunk and dancing in a living room with your friends and being really happy and having a crush on someone."
- Leah Clancy, Potluck Mag

credits

released 22 August 2014

Brimstone Blondes are:

Matthew Danger Lippman - lead vocals, guitar, keyboard, organ, sampler, drums, German modeling
Alex Mersinger - bass, backing vocals
Joey Rambell - drums, shakers, backing vocals
Jacob Cohen - violin, guitar, backing vocals

Featured players:

Tylor Colby - mouth trumpet, backing vocals
Mackenzie Hoffman - backing vocals
Jordan Jones - handclaps
Brandon Schlia - bells, xylophone, mellotron, cowbell, organ, synthesizer, tambourine, handclaps
Jacob Smolinski - backing vocals

The introduction to "The Photographer" features an excerpt from "Blowin' Yer Nose," with Dave Ambroso on keyboard, Coleman Berueffy on guitar, and Matthew Danger Lippman on drums.

All songs written by Matthew Danger Lippman & Brimstone Blondes.

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Track Name: The Photographer
AKA "Fuck Guns & Roses"
AKA "Jai Ho Terry Richardson"
AKA "Theme from AGE OF CONSENT"
Mr. Cool in your new shoes, who's your latest casualty?
You've got your camera in your backpack, and all the girls right up your sleeve

You think you're youthful, you think you're slick
You're 27 and your hairline is receding quick
You think you're class but you're so low-rent
You're counting down the days until your girlfriend reaches the age of consent

It's the ironic pornographer going down the street today
Telling tales of debauchery and all the girls he gave away

Fooling them but you're not fooling me
A hollow shell of the artist you're pretending to be
You think you're class but you're so low-rent
You're counting down the days until your girlfriend reaches the age of consent
Track Name: Lithuania, PA
When I met you, you’d come from Lithuania -
A small farming town outside of Pittsburgh, PA
The climate had risen to a state of global meltdown
But your cool, calm collusion had me wanting to stay

It was a lonely time for all of us, you see

Because of my old mania
I tried to fit the whole world in the palm of my hand
I was grasping at straws, I didn’t know how I’d reach them
I fought for space but didn’t know where I’d stand

It was a lonely time for all of us, you see
It was a lonely time for all of us

When we first met, you said your name was Alessandra
You said that it was Greek and meant “defender of men”
We built a treehouse with the bones of your elders
And we lined the mattress with the stuff of way back when

And we would stand amongst the vegetables outside

As we’d repeat the mantra
“The future is upon us, so let nothing be saved”
We turned your kitchen into a makeshift mausoleum
And we swapped the contents of your basement for a grave

And we would stand amongst the vegetables outside
And we would stand amongst the vegetables

These days I wear a slightly more crooked smile

When I met you, you’d come from Lithuania
A European country outside of Pittsburgh, PA
The concrete was hot and the Baltic states were warring
But your pristine persistence had me melting away

These days I wear a slightly more crooked smile
Track Name: Get Lifted!
You! You look just like a movie screen
While all the boys say you "talk too mean"
You make me want to break a window

And you! Your life is like a curse to me
My girl's a walking obscenity
You sip your gin and smoke your indo

But guess what?

We acted odd, we were the Party Squad
Back in the days when no such thing existed
But the days are new, we're looking out to you
To help make right the things that have been twisted

We must get lifted before we start to lose our minds

You! You took me to the party scene
You introduced me to the Party Team
The girls were lost; the boys were rapists

And me - I tried to hit it off with them
But all the shit they pulled, I must condemn
All my good will - they tried to break this

I can't take this

Me, I've realized that things can change
I was your man; now I'm in firing range
Now give me what you know I need

Me and you were something of a duo, see
I saw you as a pseudo-deacon teaching me
How to be the kind of man who'd say

That we acted odd, we were the Party Squad
Back in the days when no such thing existed
But the days are new, we're looking out to you
To help make right the things that have been twisted

We must get lifted - before we start to lose our minds
We just lost our minds

TAKE 'EM TO CHURCH!
Track Name: Social Smokers
Two John Waynes prowl the streets for entertainment
They’re in need of some restraint
They’re in need of a different saint

Cuz what they pray to - the thing that eats them alive
They’re depraved when they’re deprived
The boys are slaves to their sex drives

You swagger ‘round like you own the place but
You’re not fooling me
You say you’re laying the city to waste
But it’s just a little bit of debris

You’re a couple of light beers on the rocks
And I’m hennessy
You’re a dip in the shallow side of the pool
While I’m deep in the sea

You’re social smokers, I’m doing this shit for real
The other boys are copping a feel
When I shoot I shoot to kill

Two believers grip rosary beads in the dark
Keep their pledges close to their hearts
And it was guaranteed from the start

That what they prayed to - a thing that exists for the ego
A high price, and the benefit’s low
And the thing that you ought to know is that you

Swagger ‘round like you own the place but
Your time is running out
You’ve got a set of arbitrary rules
And you keep it wholly devout

You say you’re a believer and yet
You don’t know what it’s all about
You social smokers go ‘round, the whole thing it really
Makes me want to shout

You’re social smokers, I’m doing this shit for real
The other boys are copping a feel
When I shoot I shoot to kill

When I shoot I shoot to
Track Name: Alex's Inflammatory Gesture
He goes to the galas and the parties and shows
With the same old friends
But despite their claims to the contrary
They all meet similar ends

He knows all the date rapists and bastards
They’re “totally cool, man”
Keep away from the dotted lines
The equatorian gatherings and the venetian wine

Cuz Alex pulls out his inflammatory gesture
Like it was his favorite party trick
He used to drive them wild with his vitriol
Now he just makes them sick

And Alex says “no, you’re not my kind”
And tries to distance with vocalized stings
But this man’s a real knockout guy
You’re about to feel the wrath that alcohol brings

Beware - this man’s a date rapist and a bastard
He’s got a real mean right hook
Still Alex stands on top of the mine
And bellows “come out here and get me” with a mouthful of wine

And Alex pulls out his inflammatory gesture
Don’t you know? It’s his favorite party trick
He used to drive them crazy with his acid tongue
Now he just makes them sick

They can’t do without, do without Alex
They can't do without, do without him
They can’t do without, do without Alex
They can't do without, do without him

They can't do without, do without Alex
We can’t do without, do without him
I can’t do without, do without Alex
I can't do without, do without him
Track Name: Afterparty
AKA "Afterparty (on listening to R. Kelly's "Ignition [Remix]" drunk and alone on a frigid Saturday night)"

16 candles on your birthday
Say a prayer, then cut the cake
And though these circumstances have a way of getting you down
You keep a smile for your mother’s sake

A world away, I’m off and reeling
I wear my emptiness like it’s in style (and it probably is)
I tow the line, but I’m all fractured inside
I haven’t felt much in a little while

But I’ve felt you - in the corner of every nightclub
In the beats at every dance
I’m drunk and I’m stupid and it’s getting rather late
But I want you to give me a second chance

And after the show it’s the after-party
And after the party I’m drunk alone
But I still call you when I get lonely
Why don’t you pick up your phone?

I said, why don't you pick up your phone?

After the show it’s the after-party
And after the party I’m drunk alone
But I still call you when I get lonely
Why don’t you pick up

Cuz I’m in love with my best friend’s girlfriend
But she doesn’t see me when I’m at home
I’m far from home now, and I’m so lonely
Why won’t she pick up her phone?

I said, why won't she pick up her phone?
Track Name: Do U Wanna Make-Out??
Bass.

Flash back to the fads of the past
With the frantic ass-grab middle school dances
You were just a had-to-have
And the boys just had to have your romances

And all the while I stayed by your side
And I supported you through those guys, they were ferocious
But I’m older now, and I’m bolder now
So pardon me for being precocious

Now I’m gonna take the time to clear the air
It may be weird but shit, I just don’t care
I wanna get on your frequencies girl
I just want to live inside of your hair

Cuz the arena is filled with the sinfully devout
They’ll take you up and use you and they’ll spit you out
We’ve wondered for so long so let’s remove the doubt
I’mma tell you right now, gonna scream it out loud
Girl you make me want to shout

Do u wanna make-out?
Cuz you know I do

Do you wanna party?
Do you want my body?
I - I think you'd like to
I - I want inside you

I just got a pony
It makes me so horny
I just want inside you
I want to invite you there

I’m gonna take the time to clear the air
It may be weird but shit, I just don’t care
I wanna get on your frequencies girl
I just want to live inside of your hair

Cuz the arena is filled with the sinfully devout
They’ll take you up and use you and they’ll spit you out
We’ve wondered for so long so let’s remove the doubt
I’mma tell you right now, gonna scream it out loud
Girl you make me want to shout

Do u wanna make-out?
Cuz you know I do
Oh, you KNOW I do!

(I'm a German model, by the way.)